Communication Wisdom pt. 1

I don't think you can "hack" communication.

What gets communicated is often subtle. So, even if you "say the right things" it's how you say it, and all of the nuances around the communication that makes the difference.

Proper communication comes from a state of mind.

Any "hacks" that work help shape a different state of mind. This then helps you become more natural in different types of communication.

Here are a few ideas that I think can change your frame of mind as you communicate:

1. Get more specific.

Example: To make "Thank you" more specific, swap to "Thank you for..."

2. Avoid public self-criticism

The voice in your head may be negative, but sharing outwardly is awkward, and rubs off on others, including children. Again, this is a way of being rather than a specific thing to say or do.

Example: Never criticize your own appearance.

3. When stuck, speak as if.

Ideas are completely flexible.

Therefore, we can speak in ways that are abstract from reality.

Example:  Instead of: "What should I work on today?" Ask: "If I was killing it (today, this week, on this project) I would be..."

4. Speak from the other person's point of view.

This is particularly helpful with strangers. If you want to connect with someone, you want to show that you understand them. The best way to show that you understand someone is to consider their point of view, and put yourself in their shoes.

Example: "I bet you get this all of the time." "It must have been really hard for you to..."

5. Give Gifts

Gifting is it's own language. Gifts themselves demonstrate a giving attitude and a sense of abundance. They can be considerate, fun, personal... Try and bring a gift to everything you are invited to.

Example: Bring flowers to your next invitation. Especially when visiting men.

6. Open, or close your body language.

If you want to be more inviting, feel more comfortable, put the other person at ease, open your body language.

If you want to be more reserved, close off to someone else, or be close-minded, close your body language.

Example: Notice how you feel or what you think about when curled into a ball in bed, or laying on your back like a starfish.

I probably have about 15 or 20 more points like this that I'm taking notes on.

I'm curious about where you struggle to communicate, and in what context.

As always, have an amazing week ahead,

xx David