Note to self: never fly out of Newark, or at least never again. These are the things you learn with experience.
And at 29, do I have experience?
We took the L train to Amtrak, and then to stop C for Alaskan Air back to Los Angeles from Brooklyn.
It's a bit slow, unlike the Lamborghini in the Rally Rd. shop in Soho.
Rally Rd. lets you buy fractional shares of classic cars, so I'm an investor in the Lamborghini and an 88' BMW M3, my two favorites. Then again, if I were to own a car like that, which I likely won't own a car at all, it would be the Porsche 911.
And I bet you didn't peg me for a car guy... that's because I'm not.
But to me Luxury and Art are interrelated.
When things are overbuilt and overqualified for their needs, it shows mastery and exploration.
Sometime's it shows negative qualities, like absurdity, exuberance, maniacal obsession... but this is art, and art has a thin line.
Like The Shed at Hudson Yards right off the High Line, which hosts Artists of all kinds. Right next store The Vessel which is arguably wasteful or awesome, depending on who you ask.
The point is to take something beyond its logical limit, to go to the edge, indulge in the details, and then break some rules and cut back to refine it to it's essentials.
Have I taken my life beyond its logical limit?
Have I turned this opportunity into its own form of Art?
And I don't mean what's portrayed online, but what is experienced every day that goes by. We work to cover up our flaws and construct a narrative view for others to see.
But that competition is the wrong game, and it's playing life for others instead of genuinely experiencing for yourself.
The truth is it's only you truly know what's going on behind the scenes. And that it's got nothing to do with the material possessions.
To be living in a country with freedom is a blessing, but the curse is that you're always racing for more and trying to show others that you've got it all.
But I no longer feel like I'm holding onto racing for more. At some point along the way, things shifted from needs to choices. From picking up burdens each day to dropping them altogether. And this makes you reassess those around you. You see them in a new light.
Or rather, you actually see them, instead of only seeing yourself. And the majority of online culture is people trying to be seen by others. Maybe that's even what this newsletter is. We all seek significance. And we just want to be told that where we're at is OK, or that we're doing a good job.
But also, you don't have to to a good job.
You don't have to be smart.
And you don't need to flaunt outward success...
You just have to figure out how to walk in your own groove, and then let that spontaneously create a new pattern in this life that's yours. And when the discipline is internally driven, instead of by obligation, you're most of the way there...
The internet gave us entertainment, connection, opportunity, and education... But what it can't give you is the sense that your life itself is a Luxury. Rather it commodifies your life as you reach for your phone again to check for...
But you still time, to breathe, to ponder and ask questions.
And if you can choose, you can do it for you, on a daily basis. The experience part? Well, that's about you learning to meet your own needs. And once you've done that, well then you're sufficient.
And I think that's what this spin around the sun is about. After becoming sufficient.
What's after becoming sufficient? When you can say, "No, it's ok, really... I'm good." ?
Well, then you can look outward, and see others. You can share praise and significance. You can see past the traps set for you. They're more obvious now.
And you can let yourself be spontaneous.
As I look back... all of the best things that have happened have been spontaneous: A relationship, a business relationship, a business venture, a career turn...
But in Yelp culture and Gcal everything is planned, and in work, everything is controlled and processed. So another lesson for this year is to let go a bit more, and just allow the right next step to come from... where? I'm not sure, but it presents itself naturally when you don't set such a formal plan.
Technology continues to bring external material abundance.
But internally, we've still got to discover it for ourselves.
For now, I'm eating late night pizza, opening spreadsheets in the terminal shaking my head at my total lack of resolve to stick to a budget.